"When a great adventure is offered, you do not refuse it." Amelia Earhart

Sunday, July 25, 2010

My very first award!

A big thanks goes out to Misty over at Baby Boberg Bump for honoring me with this:

So I am officially "versatile!" Is that the bloggers' nice of saying "all over the place with a general lack of focus" because that's the way I feel half the time! ;)

Now I'm supposed to list seven random factoids about yours truly. Here ya go:

  1. DadMan and I first dated in high school for a couple of months. He loved to party and move in big groups. I was very shy and hated attention. It was doomed from the beginning, right? Fast forward six years: we were reacquainted and met somewhere in the middle. Now we balance each other out pretty well.
  2. Favorite candy bar: Twix
  3. When bumping into old rowing pals I am still reminded of the time I wore two different sneakers to practice. Glad you were so amused!
  4. I love dialects and accents (my native language being Pittsburghese).
  5. I do a killer Sean Connery. (no, really -- I murder him! I love listening to accents but have yet to master the fine art of impersonation) Just ask DadMan who finds great pleasure in humiliating me by forcing me to do it around other people.
  6. I am a Big Sister to an amazing young woman. We may have outgrown the program, but we will never outgrow our "soul sisterhood."
  7. Sadly, I have only traveled outside of the U.S. once. However, it was to Costa Rica and for that whole experience I feel truly blessed.

As a new blogger on the block I am hard pressed to find bloggers on my list that have yet to receive this award. So, I am passing this along to 15 wonderful people I have recently found who always offer thought-provoking, poignant, interesting posts. Or at the very least they make me smile or laugh. In no particular order:

  1. Bethany: Organic Enchilada

  2. Booyah's Mom: The Adventures of Chip and Bobo

  3. Hannah: Our Happy Home

  4. Liz: a belle, a bean, and a chicago dog

  5. Betsy: funky mama bird

  6. Nina: Momma Go Round

  7. Sherri: Old Tweener

  8. Lula Lola Maddy May Jane Scooterbug Drakeford Truesdale (whew! I hope I got that right!): Lula Lola

  9. Natalie: Mommy of a Monster (I Mean Toddler) and Infant Twins

  10. Alicia: A Beautiful Mess

  11. Amber: Striving for 31

  12. Chelsea: Chelsea's Psycho Babble

  13. Melissa: Confessions of a Dr. Mom

  14. Jenny: Happenings of a Little Bubba

  15. Kristi: live and love... out loud

If you're listed above, congratulations! I love peeking into your lives and minds through your writings. If you haven't already done so a gazillion times, please post your seven random facts and pass this award on to 15 other deserving bloggers.

Please don't forget to stop by and say hi to Misty! She's a sweet mama who loves books, cooking, and her cutie pie Murphylicious.

Lastly, I would like to thank all of you who expressed your concern and support for our family while we endure this stressful ailment that has resurfaced. DadMan is still quite under the weather and in a great deal of discomfort and sometimes pain, but his sense of humor is still in tact. I am sorry if I have not gotten back to each of you personally, but I am full of gratitude and encouragement by all of the support and sweet sentiments you have shown.

Many blessings!

You may have noticed I haven't posted or given out much comment love in a few days. Thursday evening DadMan started to have another of his "episodes" or flare-ups.

Over the past four years, once or twice a year he gets these absolutely horrendous "episodes" where he cannot keep anything down. I won't go into further detail because it's far from a pretty picture. The first and worst episode lasted three weeks and landed him in the ER with severe dehydration. In a little less than four days, he had lost 40 lbs and was not even able to keep fluids down.

In the past three years DadMan has had nearly every exploratory procedure done to try to find out what is causing this. He's had his gallbladder removed, numerous CT scans and ultrasounds, MRIs, MRCP, endoscopies, a colonoscopy, lots of bloodwork, and probably a few other tests I am now forgetting.

It had been a full year since his last bout with this and last summer his GI actually told him he was stumped and couldn't do anything more for us.

So here we are again. Discouraged by the fact the GI doesn't have much more to offer besides another referral, DadMan just went to our family doctor this time and got some anti-nausea meds. Fortunately, this round hasn't been quite as bad as the others. He's only lost about 20 lbs. (crazy that I say only) and he has actually been able to drink fluids and keep very small amounts (literally a few bites) of bland foods down.

Any prayers you could offer for a speedy recovery and some answers are very much appreciated!

I've been so busy with more important matters that I have yet to post about my very first award! Stay tuned for further details...

Thursday, July 22, 2010


Mama's Losin' It

Linking up with another of Mama Kat's Writer's Workshop. It was a tough call because there were some great prompts, but this week the prompt I chose was:

Write about your wedding song. What was it and why did you choose it?

So about five weeks ago I packed up the kiddo and headed north to the 'burgh for my big brother's wedding. The church was majestic. The reception was at a gorgeous but quaint little-known farm nestled away in the green rolling hills, with flowers blooming, a serene deck with pretty white wicker chairs. It was idyllic to the Nth degree. And when the glowing newlyweds took their first turn on the dance floor it looked like this:

Ah... so beautiful and oh so sweet! And there was the voice of an angel that sounded like this:

Wait a minute, there! Is that Eva Cassidy's Songbird serenading my brother and his blushing bride?!? The same Songbird that spun for DadMan and me 5 1/2 years ago?!?

Yes. It. Was.

Oh, no, he didn't!!!

In his defense, my brother wasn't at my wedding. Truth be told, we didn't even know each other back then. Brother of a different mother. That's another story.

But I do specifically remember having an entire conversation about this song at our Emerald Isle family vacation three summers ago. I was nebbing through his playlist and was all, "You know Eva Cassidy???" Many people don't. Especially guys. This was when I learned just how ecclectic my big brother's palette of music is. Marilyn Manson. Robert Johnson. Fergie. Eva Cassidy. Oh, yeah -- back to the angelic songbird herself.

So we talked about Eva Cassidy, her amazing and breathtaking vocals, the tragedy (melanoma sent her to heaven at just 33), and the fact that Songbird was one of my all-time favorite songs and

my. wedding. song.

In all seriousness, I loved the fact that they also chose this song. Her rendition is truly one of the most beautiful songs ever. EVER. How could I possibly blame them for also wanting to dance to the most pure and heavenly love songs ever created? And amazingly enough, so many people have never heard it.

Or at least not until Love, Actually. Remember that sweet and steamy scene with Laura Linney and the hot Brazilian guy who played Carl (and Paulo on Lost)? This was the song playing while they almost got it on. Almost. (That was one of those characters you just wanted to strangle and slap silly!) Anyway, that was the first time I ever heard this song and just remember thinking, "Who is this?! I am so in love with this song!" and playing the scene again and again just so I could hear the song again. Well, it may have also had a tiny something to do with the mostly naked Brazilian actor -- hey, I wasn't married yet!

Songbird instantly became one of my most beloved songs and I knew that it was what I wanted to dance to at my wedding. As far as DadMan was concerned, I could do whatever I wanted for the wedding as long as I ordered the white cake with buttercream icing and amaretto filling!

For those of you who are not already acquainted, please have a listen. I double-dog dare you not to be completely captivated by its power and beauty!

Wednesday, July 21, 2010

Wordless Wednesday: 4 Generations of Fine Dining

Dozer enjoying the taste of history from his great grandmother's high chair.

She was the first to sit upon this throne and many have since including my father, his six siblings, myself, and countless cousins and their children.

How it remains intact and standing tall after all of those rambunctious boys remains a mystery!

Posted by Picasa

Monday, July 19, 2010

The Anti-Bucket List

Bucket lists here, bucket lists there, bucket lists are everywhere! I have been thinking about doing one, but haven't quite gotten around to it. Partly because where does it end? There's always more to add. That's the way it is for me anyway, and so it proved to be a daunting task. Maybe I just need to break it down into a more manageable list. Like, This Month's Bucket List. Or If I Kick It Before Friday. That's just too morbid.

Sooo, when I heard that song "Glitter in the Air" by Pink on the drive home from work today, I got inspired to make a different kind of list.

Here's a small compilation of moments that took my breath away, made me hold my breath, made me feel intensely loved, frightened, peaceful, happy, embarrassed, blessed, thankful. Those heart-racing or heart-wrenching moments that have shaped who I am and those that push me to be more and do more or maybe just slow down for a bit to focus on what's truly important. These are some of the times or things I was doing when I felt most alive. Really alive.

Some are big moments, the ones in which I felt the rest of my life hinged on the delicate balance of what would happen next (or just happened). Some are just plain silly. Such is this beautiful thing we call life.

Have you ever:

Held your breath to hear that first cry?

Stayed awake all night just to watch someone you love sleep?

Done cartwheels down the middle of a sidewalk or street?

Laughed out loud at the most inappropriate time or place (and got many others to join in, while trying hard to contain yourself)?

Let the current just carry you and not worry about where you'll end up?

Gotten lost in a very dodgy (I just love that word!) neighborhood in an unfamiliar city?

Known that God was watching out for you, because you and your passengers just came out of a life-threatening situation with not so much as a scratch?

Slept all night in a hammock in open air with the one you love most?

Stood at the edge of a waterfall? (despite others' pleas to step back a few feet)

Entrusted your life to another (named MadDog, no less) whom you were strapped to and was jumping out of a plane?

Given a stranger in need a ride home?

Prayed for someone you passed by on the street?

Played in the rain? during a thunderstorm? at a water park or the beach?

Heard God whisper to hold on tightly to the person you were hugging because you wouldn't get another opportunity?

Take a vacation to a (faraway) place you've never been all by yourself?

Been laughed at in front of a classroom when trying to present a project, could no longer focus or complete a coherent sentence, just rambled on well enough to get the hell out of there only to find out that it wasn't actually you that was being laughed at but you were already completely traumatized because you were deathly afraid of speaking in front of people and just made a total asswipe out of yourself and delivered the most awful and awkward presentation ever? I've made peace with it. Really. Okay, maybe not so much.

Watched someone you love (who is not a firefighter) fight a fire (of a stranger's home)?

Watched someone you love jump off of a bridge? (And just as he entered the water, thought Oh, shit! My mom and dad are gonna be beyond pissed and I am gonna be so dead! when the police officer interrogated your group and then gaped in amazement as that someone ever so smoothly talked his way out of trouble.)

Watched someone you love get a jumping spinning hook kick powerfully delivered to his head, rendering him quite senseless with a concussion?

Watched and cursed someone you love as he very nearly got you both killed, leaving your newborn child parentless, by following someone too closely while you were on a "leisurely" beach ride on his motorcycle?

Yes, DadMan was that someone. This is but a mere sampling of his daredevilry. He was pretty crazy in his youth. and still is apparently... the last one was just last year. How he -- no, we -- survived these things, God only knows ;)

Held someone's hand so long you couldn't tell where their's ended and your's began?

Performed in front of hundreds of people?

Been comforted by a dog at a time of despair?

Gotten two hours of sleep only to wake up early to drive an hour to the beach for the sole purpose of watching the sun rise? And then drive back two hours later to make it to class on time?

Watched your husband take care of your baby for the first time and think you couldn't possibly love and adore him more than at that moment?

Okay, so I'll leave it at 25 for now. I'm not going to get so ambitious to make this into a meme or anything. However I would really love to hear your "Have you ever"s! Please feel free to share by putting one or two in the comments or dropping off a link in the comments to a post you create on the same topic.

Saturday, July 17, 2010

Barefoot Books

There's been a lot of chatter lately of restlessness, boredom, and countdowns of the days until school starts. As a mom of a toddler, I can't yet begin to relate to the panic or exhaustion of keeping the kids entertained (Dozer still thinks his dirty socks are the most fascinating and hilarious things he's ever seen}.

But since there has been all of this talk, I thought it may be a good time to shamelessly plug my little side business as a Barefoot Books Ambassador. If you love books as much as I do, you've gotta check them out! I had never even heard of Barefoot before February and couldn't believe what I had been missing out on once I found them.

Barefoot Books is an independent children's book publisher, started by two moms who wanted to produce engaging and inspirational books that offer a genuine alternative to much of the widespread commercial products that pass off as literature these days. The core values of Barefoot are to inspire children to imagine, create, explore, connect, and give back. Aren't those values we all try to instill in our children every day?

So, if you haven't already noticed the button on my sidebar to the right, there is a fantastic summer sale going on through the end of the July. Over 100 titles are discounted, many around 25%, some as much as 60%. If you're the opposite of me and like to get a head start on Christmas shopping, it's worth a peek. Or if you need some road trip material, many books come with CDs and there are plenty of activity books to keep your monst-- I mean angels busy.

Really, I try not to be that self-promoting or sales-pitching kind of person, so I hope this didn't turn you off. I am just that much in LOVE with these amazing storytellers and artists, as is my little one. Just check them out (at the library for all I care) -- I guarantee you won't be disappointed!

Dozer's Digs:
  1. I Took the Moon for a Walk
  2. Bear on a Bike
  3. The Animal Boogie

We also offer tons of free downloadable goodies!

I'm always looking for great reads for the bambino and would love to hear about your kids' favorites!

Friday, July 16, 2010

A Friendly Friday Find and Five Question Friday

Look at these little cuties DadMan saved this morning! Unfortunately, he didn't know they were in the street until after he backed over two :(

He was quick to look all over and find three more, scoop them up and deliver them to the sanctity of the back yard, where they went straight to the pond for a morning dip.

And now on to my first ever Five Question Friday:

1. Do you collect anything?

Do dirty diapers count? No matter how hard I try to rid myself of them, they seem to magically and exponentially appear again. Also in this category: ants, spiders, dust, and graham cracker crumbs. As for conventional collections: no, DadMan collects enough junk for everyone in our family.

2. Name 3 celebrities that you find good looking.

Matt Bohmer. I think that's his name. The guy from White Collar.
hmmm... now I can't think of any others or get him out of my head. Seriously, it should be illegal for anyone to be so good looking!

Gerald Butler. I'm a big sucker for rugged guys. Throw in an accent (especially an Irish rogue) and forget about it!

Did I mention Matt Bohmer?

3. Do you have any scars? If so, what's the story behind it (them?)?

I've got several pox scars on my face, which is funny considering I had the chicken pox when I was three months old and my mom said I didn't even know they were there. I also have a scar above my right eye from a coffee table incident. There's a scar in my the knuckle of my left index finger that I can't for the life of me remember how it got there. When you're a professional ass-kicker such as myself, you just don't remember every little bump and bruise you get along the way.

4. What is a food that you like to eat, but others might think it's gross or weird?

french fries + ice cream (especially a chocolate Frosty)

5. Have you ever seen a tornado in real life?

No, but I dream about them all the time! Psychoanalyze that one, ladies!

If you want to join in on the fun, head over to My Little Life to link up!

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

The 1st Annual Toddler Summer Games

I'm very excited about Dozer's participation in the Toddler Summer Games for his first time. Last summer's Baby Summer Games were full of wins, surprises, and upsets as Dozer worked his way through challenging events such as the Nursing Marathon, Bottle-chugging, Burping, Diaper Wrangling, Giggling, and Toe Tasting.

This year's games started off with a bang! The house was totally rocked by Dozer's Opening Ceromony performance. He showed off his mad rat-a-tat-tat skills all over the house with his signature wooden spoon.

Dozer then gave a special interview to DadMan, in which he emphatically detailed his morning preparations.

DadMan: How do you get ready for a big day of training?

Dozer: Bananas, bananas, milk, bananas. Maybe some oatmeal and blueberries, if Mom's coaching. Did I mention bananas? They really get me goin' in the morning.

Then I like to chill with you and Special Agent Oso for a few minutes while I digest. He's got some great strategies, that guy. Helps me get my mental game on.

DadMan: True, true. Umm. I think you missed Step Two: Make sure you get all banana in mouth.

Dozer: Dude, I don't do the stringy parts. Besides, leaving just a bit in the hair is a major chick magnet. Really. The girlies go cuh-razy and they just can't keep their hands off me!

DadMan: hmmph. Oh, yeah. You'll score big with that strategy in twenty years.

Dozer: Don't be a hater. You know, your snarky 'tude is killing my banana buzz. Mama! Maaamaaa! Mah mah mah mah mah!! Maaaaaaa!!!

Coach Mom instantly appears and the games begin!

First up: Toy Toss.

Dozer proves to be a natural at this event, as little Elmo, building blocks, trucks, rings, keys, phones, and everything else is cleared out of the toy box. Dozer truly excels at distance and speed in this challenge. And he makes it look so easy!

Second: Toy Hurdle.

Dozer's agility shines through as he makes the amazing feats of scaling precariously strewn about toys with reckless abandon.

Third: Train Luge

Down goes Frasier! Well, folks, apparently Dozer isn't going to take the gold in all of this year's events. Wait! Wait! I don't believe it... He's getting up and giving it another go!

Coach Mom is quick to intervene, saying he needs to develop those balancing skills some more before another attempt.

Fourth: Yogurt Eating Contest.

No commentary needed here. I think you can create a good mental image of this one.

Fifth: The Kitchen Marathon

This may be Dozer's best event. This kid has the stamina of a certain unstoppable pink bunny! Coach Mom joined in at Lap 10 and went down at the second turn in Lap 23. Dozer gave a wry laugh as hurdled her left leg. Lap 24: Dozer peers at the collapsed Coach, who was stretching a calf, with a mixture of amusement and disdain. The word pathetic flashes in his mind. The boy wonder keeps going strong, though Coach lost count around Lap 36.

Someone get this kid on the New York Marathon registry!

Coach tries to encourage Dozer to save some energy for the next day's events. Dozer not-so-politely declines. The success may be getting to his head. Apparently, he thinks he can take on Superman. Coach explains that even Superman took a rest in his icy castle. Ha! he laughs maniacally. Naps are for the weak at heart!

Sixth: Wrestling.

Another awesome display of expertise as we see the tiny tot contort his body into unbelievable positions. Don't let the teensy package fool you, folks! The wiry and unrelenting strength of Dozer, coupled with his indomitable and tempered spirit are wearing his opponent down. As does the streak of poo that he strategically planted on her left elbow during the match.

Uh-oh. Coach does not condone playing dirty.

Seventh: Synchronized Splashing.

"Dodge and avoid" pretty much encapsulate the object of this game and the little athlete does it well against the ever-approaching washcloth.

Upcoming and ongoing events include:
  • 100 yd Sidewalk Dash

  • Bedtime Book-a-thon

  • Toothbrush Tackle

  • Big Bouncy Ball Ricochet

  • Tennis Ball Shot Put

  • Dance-a-thon

  • Bull (dog) Riding

  • Mom Riding

  • Couch Climbing

Note: no shutter speed is fast enough to record Dozer's victory V as he zooms past!

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Monday, July 12, 2010

Sunday Surprise

Today was just what I needed. One of my most favorite people in the whole wide world surprised us and came into town for a visit!

Now, my little sister only lives about an hour away but as far as I'm concerned, it could be light years when we only see each other once or twice a month. Just two days ago she was telling me all about her busy party party party single life and saying how she didn't think she'd make it over this way for a few weeks. A few weeks?!

I have a dirty little trick that I love to play on her, though. Whenever she gets like that -- too busy to come around -- I begin the assault. I bombard her with videos, pictures, and stories via email, Facebook, telephone of the little man. He is the one temptation she just can't resist!

So it began earlier this week. She actually did fairly well resisting the photos and his nonsense chatter on the phone this time, so I had to take it to the next level. Friday afternoon I told her all about Dozer's latest discovery and fixation: pictures of her hanging on the wall! I then detailed how he has been making me pick him up to let him point out the people (especially Aunt GiGi) and how excited he gets when I talk about her.

Oh, yeah.

That did it.

Within three hours, she had gone from, "I'm just going to have a relaxing weekend at home and get some stuff done," to "So, I am doing this and that on Saturday, meeting someone for brunch on Sunday, and then maybe I'll come over and we can take Little Man to the pool?"

So, we ended up having a really nice family day over at Mimi and Pap's. Sun, swimming, chicken enchiladas for dinner, and dancing with Dozer to Jimmy Buffet. I'm not a big Buffet fan, but it was that kind of day. Beautiful. Relaxing. Just the type of recharging I needed to regroup and get motivated again. Maybe no changes in latitude, but definitely changes in attitude.

Saturday, July 10, 2010

Letting Go

The past few months have been extremely challenging for my family on several levels. Our well dried up, we have moved my dear MIL and Nana into our house, we lost our dog (our first child, really) Rocket, our A/C units have totally crapped out, we moved (and are still moving) MIL and Nana out of our house, both of our cars need work, and the list goes on and on. We are in a very bad financial place and our marriage is suffering the strains of the pressure that has been applied to nearly all areas of our life.

Some days it is really difficult to keep it together. However, I have complete faith that everything will work out. It always does; sometimes it just doesn't happen the way we would like. I think that the biggest lesson I'm still struggling with most is when to let go and when to stand firm.

Things I have learned to let go for the sake of my family and my sanity:
  • my job: even though I was in the position to run my Dad's business from his house with tot in tow, I came to the quick realization that I was doing both jobs half-assed
  • our house: we were struggling when I was working full time; when I quit working at "home" F/T and went back to my P/T afternoon job it just wasn't enough to pay the bills. Though we still have our house, we will soon be saying good-bye to it and the dreams we had of restoring it and raising our family in it.
  • all the little extras: date nights out, getting hair done, movie dates with mom and sister, vacations, eating out, etc.
  • free time: what is that again?? scrapbooking? card-making? hour-long walks? teaching karate? reading books that don't have pictures in them from cover to cover? give me 27 hours in a day and maybe I'll get back to some of these... I suppose I could let go of blogging...
  • my hang-ups: not letting the hub's dirty dishes, socks, and undies strewn about get me angry
  • my pride: humbled am I, but gratitude and hope remains
  • the idea that I have to be everything to everyone: trying to make everyone happy all the time is exhausting and impossible

My husband and I sometimes have some very different priorities and values. Sometimes this difference in perspective makes us a great team. Sometimes I can't stand to even be around him because of this. We went around and around about the pros and cons of the work and house issues. I had to learn to stand up to him on these issues, because I know that this time with our son is precious and fleeting. It may be selfish, but I was not willing to work FT to keep our house, sacrificing the opportunity to be the one raising our son.

Over the past 5 1/2 years of our blessed union, I have learned many things. One of the most important is to choose my battles very carefully. I love my husband with all my heart and as difficult as it is some days, our marriage is not something I will "let go."

Friday, July 9, 2010

Shave your face with some mace in the dark

Now that the kiddo has finally decided to take a nap, here is the promised story of our Fourth of July incident:

Soggy weather and a very tired Dozer dampened plans to take him to see fireworks for the first time, but it surely didn't prevent big explosions from happening.

After hanging out at Grammy and Nana's for a bit, we ventured home when Dozer began rubbing his eyes and stumbling into everything in his path. The next hour or so is a bit fuzzy as I was focused solely on getting the crankster to bed. I do remember DadMan and EvyMonster going out for something.

A little note on EvyMonster: she may be a big fierce Doberman, but she is scared silly of loud noises and rumblings.


EvyMonster + teeny Nissan Sentra + fireworks everywhere + a not-so-strategically located bottle of pepper spray (DadMan planted and insisted I carry in my car always) = disaster for DadMan.

This is how it all went down:

I'm savoring the peace of some coveted "me" time when in comes DadMan. He had been looking like someone just delivered a swift sidekick to his gutt. Evy bound in leaping around (nothing too unusual there). I asked what the matter was and if he was okay. He didn't answer. Then I realized he wasn't exactly breathing with ease. So I got up and persisted, "What is going on?!?" while I was rubbing my itchy eyes.

"Your pepper spray went off," he wheezed. I fight the urge to cough. I lose. I didn't have to ask how because this isn't the first time this has happened. In fact, this is the third time Evy somehow took off the safety and proceeded to shower herself and others with the pepper spray.

You'd think we would have learned our lesson by now that it was more of a danger to us than anyone else. But no-oo, DadMan insisted we keep it and find another place for it. Each time. I could put the damned thing in the trunk and she would still find it! (There will not be a fourth as I promptly put the assailant in it's proper place -- the trash)

After a few minutes, DadMan elaborated on the way she jumped from the backseat into the front and in the process set off the deadly stream directly at DadMan and my dash. Luckily, it only got his arm. Unfortunately, that was enough for him to be sent into an immediate eye-watering, coughing frenzy for the rest of the ride home.

It was pretty funny actually listening to his line of reasoning and detailing the trip. I mean, come on, wouldn't most people pull over and air out a bit first or something? Not DadMan. He chose to drive down the street and through the neighborhood hanging out of the door. My very own Ace Ventura. Just what I always dreamed of.

Once things settled, we took EvyMonster outside for a hose-down. It was now around midnight and we were doing our best to be quiet so as not to awaken any slumbering babes, which is not the easiest of tasks given Evy's strong dislike of baths. However, it was the easiest bath we've ever had to give. Poor girl, she must have really been feeling the sting for her to submit so easily!

DadMan finally was feeling better as well and started laughing. "Straight from Beck."

My tired, annoyed, and stressed brain failed to make the connection. "huh?"

"Shave your face with some Mace in the dark..."

So we bust into laughter with our soaped up EvyMonster, singing:

"Soy un perdedor. I'm a loser, baby!..."

and thanked God we don't have maggots on our sleeves.

p.s. -- any ideas on how to get my dash clean? So far nothing I've tried has been able to cut through the foggy residue left behind. Poor Sentra; the beating goes on...

Thursday, July 8, 2010

A Boy and His Ball. And a Small Space.

It has been an eventful week. By "eventful" I wish I meant fun Fourth of July picnics and ongoing festivities. By "eventful" I wish I meant mean doctors' appointments and playdates.

I have been neglecting my blog (and many other responsibilities and fun) because this is the kind of week it has been:

You know, the NO-napping, diarrhea for three days straight, obsessed with danger, train-surfing, tantrum-throwing, one whopping *fumble* after another, everyone survived but came out black and blue or blistered kind of eventful week, with a pepper spray incident thrown in for good measure (stay tuned for more details... that one deserves a whole post).


As mean as it may seem to some, I made Dozer stay stuck like this for thirty seconds or so while I snapped away, devilishly delighting in his unfortunate miscalculations.

"MWUHAHAHA!!!" bellowed Mean Mommy!

But seriously, I needed that laugh way more than he needed my help in those thirty seconds. And you better believe I am still chuckling every time I look at this photo!

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The Saturday Spin

As much fun (and helpful) as my first Flip-Off was yesterday, I never do stuff like that! In fact, the only times anyone has every seen a bird fly from me was purely in jest. So, I thought I'd go back and put a positive spin on things today for no other reason than to cultivate an attitude of gratitude. Here it goes:

To DadMan: You may be a dirty filthy pig, but you are my piggy and you still make me laugh and smile like no other can! And I know I do a million things that probably bug the hell out of you, but I never hear you mutter a single word about it. How do you do it??

To the dedicated parents of my dear little clients: You know I love you guys and the kids, too. I just have enough tantrums of my own to take care of. I am so thankful you entrust me to train your kiddo's brains for a full hour a few times a week and I am very grateful that they are all hard-working and fun. They make me love my job and make it easier for me to feel less guilty about leaving Dozer for a couple of hours a day when I see the progress they make.

To the nighttime problems: I hate more than anything to see my Dozer in pain or scared. However, I am thankful that I was there to comfort him and squeeze in some snuggle time. Who know how much longer that will last?

To the man in the pick-up: Hmmm... Well, you were rude, juvenille, and obnoxious and I am thankful that I didn't run off the road from your silly prank.

To my Sentra: You are old, but the most dependable vehicle I have had to date. I have tortured you far more than you have done to me. You've racked many miles through the wild commutes of the college years, and many more carting me to and from many houses for work in the following years, suffered many war wounds such as flat tires and the dirt storms of construction sites, two rowdy dobermans (one who tried to punch out your windows, the other who lovingly gnawed your seat belts to threads), and survived the harsh salt air and a few hurricanes (with flying shingles and fronds that bruised you). You will always hold a soft spot in my heart, but I'm afraid our motley crew has outgrown you... Thanks for getting me to where I wanted to go (most of the time).

To KY: Your commercials make me most uncomfortable but you did pull through for me post-episiotomy. DadMan thanks you for that. A lot.

To all of my followers visitors: A BIG thanks for listening to my rants and raves!! People pay for therapy?? Just get a blog! Hope you have a wonderful weekend, doing what you love most with those you love most.

Friday, July 2, 2010

Friday Flip-Offs: pee, nightmares, and KY Jelly

I decided to participate in Friday Flip-Offs this week because, I really need it. I actually never use the bird, but thought I'd try the cyber version. I've heard it can be quite cathartic and I want to enjoy the holiday weekend, so let the purging begin!

To DadMan for missing the mark this morning and leaving me to clean up the mess. It's not enough that I wipe Dozer's bum all day long, now I get the priviledge of wiping yours, too??? What are you, five???

To the guy in the back of the pick-up that screamed at me while they passed me on my way to work. Apparently, he gets quite the thrill out of making people jump out of their skin while driving 50 mph. What are you, fifteen???

To my dear Nissan Sentra: you provided much commuting love in college and we had many fantastic road trips and adventures thereafter. However, now you give me an aching back from bending over while wrangling and angling Dozer into his car seat. And then you decided to take the A/C away from me this week! I'm afraid our time together is coming to an end in the very near future...

To the makers of BioShock, GTA, Red Dead Redemption, and all the other garbage I must listen to DadMan play while I try to enjoy some "me" time during that precious time we call bedtime.

And speaking of bedtime, this one goes out to the tummyaches and nightmares and whatever else was causing my sweet little Dozer to wake up 4+ times after 1 am almost EVERY night this week!

To the parents of my little monst--I mean clients: I know summer is the time for fun. Late bedtimes. Cereal for dinner. Lots of sugary snacks. Oh yes, I know what's going on -- it's painfully clear. Painfully. Just sayin'.

And finally, to marketers of KY Jelly. You know where I'm going with this one, right? I REALLY don't want to hear about the warming sensations you create while I am visiting with my DAD at 7pm. Are these commercials really necessary??? And at a time when families are hanging out!


aaahhh... feeling better already!